10 lines
drop in 30
check in
g'luck
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10 lines
drop in 30
check in
g'luck
Checking in..nearly finished......................
Quick start..
Hansom harry? Your like prince harry as yah mind bleeds out*
Now ive left yah face red..as yah humiliated by snidely pounds
Not to standards..but main shit..
Take notes..where i now describe how your smothered down
To leave you breathless..like new babies with covered mouths
You bothered now? Well you should..as i spit disturbed words
Like punks screaming at old nuns..yah now left in injured herds
How can you win yah herb? My punches send you flying back
Now your left inverted..like a wheelchair cripple lying cracked
Your writing wack..quit trying lad..as this is yah written death
To show that your nothing, where my punches split your head
*Prince harry has red hair..
Drop then man..dont take yah time...........Uppin on you
Dope. . . your not! You aint got a shot like an empty gun,
Leavin ur only chance of a spotlight. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .to reveal your acne in the sun.
I hardly struggle to drop dee, gash a hole in ur stomach like a crator,
So this asshole got red in the middle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . to mimic my avator.
This kid may throw a fit. . .be a bitch. . . but be kool dozie homie,
Ill take the win but not your pride. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so your virginity don’t get lonely.
Now learn to elevate, coz this is the dopest shit you have read,
And change your family name to hovis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .coz of the way your in to bread.
Your pushin ur luck ugly. . . coz newbie you are weak,
So ill see you in a few decades. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . when you finish your beauty sleep.
Wohhhhh the hours went by...uppin...............#1
PUNCHES:
Dozle: your punches were hittin hard and very funny now i aint gonna lie though some didnt hit that hard but still got me laughin 7.5
Hansom Harry: punches got me all confuse next time structure your verse better couldnt really feel the punches cause of the structure 4.1
STRUCTURE:
Dozle: very good had no trouble reading it keep it that way 9.1
Hansom Harry: like i said before it sucked just need to work on it better but hey maybe some people do like it that way but i dont so yeah 1.1
FLOW:
Dozle: wasnt quite has good has ya structure but it did flow easily and i didnt get stuck at any point in ya verse 8.5
Hansom Harry: havin all those dots everywhere made your flow stink still i got through it so ill give you 4.6
VOCAB:
Dozle: it was good i mean i didnt mind what you were puttin in your verse could of used better words but it was still good 7.2
Hansom Harry: this was a good catagory for you i liked what you were doin 7.4
MULTIES:
Dozle: good i liked when you used them made your verse better and always made me laugh 8.3
Hansom Harry: had a couple but wasnt really feelin them though 6.5
both had really good verses and hansom harry just evaluate and you will get there and become great
has for dozle just keep evaluating and keep the good work goin
Dozle Hansom Harry
7.5 4.1
9.1 1.1
8.5 4.6
7.2 7.4
8.3 6.5
41.6 23.7
vote: Dozle
Safe for the vote..Uppin once again.............#2
Uppin for votes please..........................#3
Come on..vote on this please....................#4
My last time for uppin this battle..please vote..#5
Dozie....Came hard with punches..flow was ok not grate tho.....structure was wack...coz lines were to long...personal were ok...need to use deeper techniques eg..mulits'
6/10
Hansom.....punches wenrt dat good...flow was ok...lines agen were to long...structure was wack....personal didnt hit...need to us deeper techinques also..
5/10
v/doise
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Ambiguous
Dozie
Hansom harry? Your like prince harry as yah mind bleeds out*
Now ive left yah face red..as yah humiliated by snidely pounds
6/10
Not to standards..but main shit..
Take notes..where i now describe how your smothered down
To leave you breathless..like new babies with covered mouths
7/10
You bothered now? Well you should..as i spit disturbed words
Like punks screaming at old nuns..yah now left in injured herds
6/10
How can you win yah herb? My punches send you flying back
Now your left inverted..like a wheelchair cripple lying cracked
8/10
Your writing wack..quit trying lad..as this is yah written death
To show that your nothing, where my punches split your head
7/10
Hansom Harry
Dope. . . your not! You aint got a shot like an empty gun,
Leavin ur only chance of a spotlight. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .to reveal your acne in the sun.
5/10
I hardly struggle to drop dee, gash a hole in ur stomach like a crator,
So this asshole got red in the middle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . to mimic my avator.
5/10
This kid may throw a fit. . .be a bitch. . . but be kool dozie homie,
Ill take the win but not your pride. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so your virginity don’t get lonely.
6/10
Now learn to elevate, coz this is the dopest shit you have read,
And change your family name to hovis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .coz of the way your in to bread.
6/10
Your pushin ur luck ugly. . . coz newbie you are weak,
So ill see you in a few decades. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . when you finish your beauty sleep
6/10
Dozie - 68 It had a good flow and your punches and personals were a bit weak but it gave you the upper hand in this one. I guess you can say you were lucky because the other cat was just wack. Keep elevating though..
Hansom Harry - 56 Truth.. Elevate kid.. you had no real personals or punches. They were weak insults. And you need to learn how to structure your verse a lot better so it can create a better flow. Your flow wasn’t bad but it wasn’t exactly good.. it was a bit decent. Just keep working on it kid.
Vote – Dozie (no hate)
Yall think yall can hit that link up in my signature and poll an honest vote? I’d poll here but I don’t have enough posts just yet. Most appreciated.. LATE..
Just letting you 2 know that I am able to poll vote now .. Now that I've voted .. You 2 can return the favor with an honest poll vote as well .. Sorry there was no edit button for me to edit my last post .. Link's at the bottom of my signature