"Poetry's Face" - Jonathon

Poetry's Face
By Jonathon

From race through race,
and place to place -
the answer they need
to lessen their haste.
Tasting only their dreams,
within ones own skin.
Bleeding greatness;
seeing abstract tactics,
that stick like thumbtacks.
Visions hide from minds,
from time to time...
Blocking the writer from his find.
Which wrinkles the paper,
with its porcelain shine;
tears drop from the edges,
relieving his stresses.
Lips quiver in fear;
while I wad up my liver,
and toss with liquor and beer.
It stays there, depressed -
playing with words; hand in hand
like wordplay words stay,
creating, forming, placing,
and making cliché’s.
Unforced yet pressured,
eyebrows add a -
slight overcast to the weather.
Relating to shade tree's he's:
dark and cold,
smart and old,
with parts and folds.
His nose is like a tower,
crashing back to reality,
showering the world with it's tears.
With lips that haven't spoken in years,
and...
His neck swollen from choking,
voice cracked and rattled from smoking,
mind deep from notions he's yet to expose.
Details for miles,
will never be spoken...
So I guess it’s safe to say,
that poetry's face,
will never be noticed.

uppin?

Hell, I like it. Maybe I'm the only one?

im gonna explode.

3....

Holy shit 3 days. Probably better off putting this in OM or something.

My literary sense sucks my friend. And poetry was never my strong point. From a view of someone who posses that I must say you have great imagery. I'm not sure I understand what wad up my liver is, I see its followed by liquor and beer so I assume wad up means to fill up? Besides that I see you give great personification to things and items. (lol I'm trying to remember some terms for you because its been a while since I took an english class, more so, literature)

playing with words; hand in hand
like wordplay words stay,
creating, forming, placing,
and making cliché’s.
Unforced yet pressured,

I liked those lines the best because they hold truth, not that the rest didn't but those are like what I think but cannot write if that makes sense. Good job though Jon you wrote a good piece.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Possible

Holy shit 3 days. Probably better off putting this in OM or something.

My literary sense sucks my friend. And poetry was never my strong point. From a view of someone who posses that I must say you have great imagery. I'm not sure I understand what wad up my liver is, I see its followed by liquor and beer so I assume wad up means to fill up? Besides that I see you give great personification to things and items. (lol I'm trying to remember some terms for you because its been a while since I took an english class, more so, literature)

playing with words; hand in hand
like wordplay words stay,
creating, forming, placing,
and making cliché’s.
Unforced yet pressured,

I liked those lines the best because they hold truth, not that the rest didn't but those are like what I think but cannot write if that makes sense. Good job though Jon you wrote a good piece.

---

The whole piece in general was about poetry. Poetry is sometimes written on paper, and sometimes how it gets written involves a little :alc:. Get me? And after its written, most of it gets thrown away. Just a little somethin, but thanks for feed. I really appreciate it.

See, sorry for my lack of understanding. Sometimes I don't feel like I am deep enough to put thought into words like poets do. But I also find myself like when I am writing songs that things seem to fit together. weird how that works.

No, it was a little far fetched, so don't even stress. Thanks again.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jonathon

playing with words; hand in hand
like wordplay words stay,
creating, forming, placing,
and making cliché’s.
Unforced yet pressured,
eyebrows add a -
slight overcast to the weather.
Relating to shade tree's he's:
dark and cold,
smart and old,
with parts and folds.

---

^Love the flow of this part it wasnt forced,and everything went off my lips so vividly nicely done. Overall this was a nice read the went right with the words in a sort. I enjoyed the vocab usage you used more than your basic words, which is a nice style to have when it comes to poetry.The imagery into this piece was the best assets you brung to the table.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jonathon

His neck swollen from choking,
voice cracked and rattled from smoking,
mind deep from notions he's yet to expose.
Details for miles,
will never be spoken...
So I guess it’s safe to say,
that poetry's face,
will never be noticed.

---

^ Great details and very visualy written I could see almost everything from the swollen neck to the hearing the tone of his voice. You have some skills my dude keep writting there is always room for improvement. I say some tips could be try some new creative fresh concepts like come up with a nice topic to write to Poetry's Face was nice but anyone can write to this (well not anyone but you get my point) But you still riped it so big ups.

Oh and thanks for the feed if you feed I feed always just a hint also nice to finally have some comp in R.I.

Thanks man. Mucho-appreciated.

We should collab sometime.

We could today if you like I have a topic in mind pm me..........

This was a nice creative piece, and alot of interesting concepts in here too, which was good fro thought provoking mind food! you payed a fair amount of attention to detail which i was definitely feeling, i can see the rust is falling off you now and you're coming back into yourself. The imagery was on point and well placed as usual. And you've always been an emotional writer so naturally the emotion was up there to making this a very nice little piece. i've seen this concept before, but you managed to make it some what unique and to your style rather than the classic style that is usually taken for a piece like this. either way, good read, and sorry it's took me a while to feed, i've just been really busy, but it worth the read so i'm glad i finally got to it.

thanks finally. :)

appreciated.