A Disciple's Thread

For some reason my instagram has been disabled and I can’t get it my other account either for 48 hours - people are straight assholes

They won’t let me post on any of my ig accounts

- - - Updated - - -

That’s my life line and mental health

Gee I wonder why

They won’t let me post on my instagram again

- - - Updated - - -

Ok I can on my other one…

- - - Updated - - -

Probably cause I can prove my electronics keep fucking with my head

- - - Updated - - -

Patriot act says you can look but you can’t touch guys

https://youtu.be/dUc1QGBSqLA?si=_CpA0qNPKUxAIJti

Can the site do me a favor and disclose the link dock comment - hell no after that gang rape

- - - Updated - - -

Pink dick*

- - - Updated - - -

The old man is REALLY CREEPING ME OUT

- - - Updated - - -

Not you mother fucker

I respect you so much for rambling non-stop in this thread like this for this long. I remember convos about banning you for spamming and me telling people to let you at it, shit wasn't bothering nobody any ways. Now look how far you've come. I mean, you didn't go far; you're still saying the same internal monologue in circles, but I hope it's at least been therapeutic for you to do so.

Get them off my phone odc who they are I’ve had the worst weekend ever

https://youtu.be/_LdJ1yEvFVM?si=vm9JlebGLQfPoPir

Been seeing shit out the corner of my eye - someone sent a hit

- - - Updated - - -

I knew you were alive - we didn’t have texts back then… come see me it’s important

- - - Updated - - -

I love all your new shit

- - - Updated - - -

You gonna.be fine… WE gonna be fine

- - - Updated - - -

Do you have Jicera or at least know where she is?

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t mind getting shot it was the defrib that hurt LMFAO

- - - Updated - - -

I lost 5 weeks though

- - - Updated - - -

For a minute I was about to get a DNR order it hurt so bad but I’m ok

- - - Updated - - -

I feel you I can’t tell the difference between. Death and inanity anymore

- - - Updated - - -

It was you wasn’t it?

- - - Updated - - -

Thought he was just stressed and lost weight

- - - Updated - - -

I feel alone very alone

- - - Updated - - -

How about you?

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not with that bitching humiliate type shit… do you know how mad I got at axle for the.now you don’t walk so proud line

- - - Updated - - -

I. About bigging people up not tearing them down

- - - Updated - - -

Ced came home reeking of garlic and jumped from the bed to the floor when I turned over he said he couldn’t do this and slept in the kids room - that’s the closest to anybody telling me what’s going on

- - - Updated - - -

I punched the dash and the corner of my ajrbag popped out that kept L in check LOL

- - - Updated - - -

They ride me they can hold me down so bad that I can’t even move

- - - Updated - - -

Tied*

- - - Updated - - -

Someone from a wayyyyy deeper and darker circle chasing me and won’t leave me alone

- - - Updated - - -

It’s creepy as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

I’m pissed about Jayme so you better explain for real

- - - Updated - - -

And my father

- - - Updated - - -

Enterprise is ours he called me to say he wrote off the rental and that’s when I realized I didn’t have an episode and run out of gas

- - - Updated - - -

I had a DOA years prior destroyed on arrival so we chuckled I would’ve never put it together otherwise

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah in the ambulance the cop said I fell out the car saying me? Shoe? I didn’t realize he was talking about me

- - - Updated - - -

When I bled out and the hotel didn’t even call us - I’m not so scared pac I’m ok

- - - Updated - - -

I’m stronger than most people realize especially mentally

- - - Updated - - -

The bed was covered a stream to the bathroom running across the living room to the shower and a puddle on the.bathrooom floor

- - - Updated - - -

I thought it was weird that they didn’t call

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t see in the dark anymore what did they do to my eyes?

- - - Updated - - -

Felt like pins every night for years - they said it was cataracts

- - - Updated - - -

Why did I get dropped all night when they hurt me in Myrtle beach? My head and my pinky

- - - Updated - - -

I stole a lex running but that’s a little too extreme.

- - - Updated - - -

Esse ain’t Spanish I know that too

- - - Updated - - -

I GOT AN ENTIRE LIST ALMOST EVERYBODY

- - - Updated - - -

I thought he snitched on Bessie and got mad

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t play that shit the job hard enough as is

- - - Updated - - -

My dad was so happy that I was starting to wake up on my birthday that year they tried to od me and I woke up u. Mental - he loved you to death

- - - Updated - - -

Did you see what the geniuses did to my left wrist when I’m a lefty - not scared I’m very angry instead

- - - Updated - - -

That people like that think I’m less than them

- - - Updated - - -

I’ll never be a suicide pac NEVER

- - - Updated - - -

Sometimes I want to go hide too

- - - Updated - - -

Especially all them years they were publicly raping and torturing me

- - - Updated - - -

My hands I think were acid

- - - Updated - - -

It was too bad to be wind burned

- - - Updated - - -

They scarred bad but healing

- - - Updated - - -

There’s 4 apartment on the top floor and I got scared when 2 maybe even 3 of them were empty - I’m lucky the people down stairs heard me

- - - Updated - - -

Just screamed needle in my sleep all night my dad told me they called

- - - Updated - - -

I think he figured out what was going on and that’s why he drunk himself to death cause it was his own network

- - - Updated - - -

He was drug testing me too and could’ve proved j was sober

- - - Updated - - -

He knew I don’t do drugs like that I barely even drink

- - - Updated - - -

I love coke cause it counteracts the fog of all the psych meds and my days are longer than 7 hits - I hate sleeping like that

- - - Updated - - -

Hrs*

- - - Updated - - -

Who choked me like that and why rape and torture?

- - - Updated - - -

Sodimy too and I don’t even do anal

- - - Updated - - -

Shit coming out of me when I’m a condom girl to begin with it felt so fucking gross in my own body and still does sometimes

- - - Updated - - -

I was tense all the time that it hurt to touch my skin so my mom got me massages for a year until the creeper was on my ass for 45 minutes which is why I stopped

- - - Updated - - -

Old white men just freak me the fuck out type gross

- - - Updated - - -

We got to move fast my step dad real sick

- - - Updated - - -

Kidneys

- - - Updated - - -

He can’t even walk up the stairs without getting winded and he not even on dialysis yet

- - - Updated - - -

When I tried to walk out on an anaphylactic then they finally took me in… I was waiting so long I was starting to feel. Better - a poblano pepper on the gauc. Jurger at Red Robin which was never a problem.before

- - - Updated - - -

I knew in my heart you were ok

- - - Updated - - -

I remember a lot my entire life line was us in Myrtle beach and all the flashes

- - - Updated - - -

Just put together all the things that didn’t make sense - the lies they told to cover it up were impossible as I remembered them

- - - Updated - - -

It’s still hard to believe I have a daughter

- - - Updated - - -

Like my mom making me pull down my pants to prove I had my period and stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

I thought it cause they thought 59 was my babies dad probably cause his baby mom was a dancer too

- - - Updated - - -

50*

- - - Updated - - -

And for my father they can go fuck themselves too

- - - Updated - - -

Not that desperate to be down

- - - Updated - - -

Do you know how good my dad was to me? He was my angel almost my entire life

- - - Updated - - -

The gangsters loved him too

- - - Updated - - -

He probably is where I get my heart from

- - - Updated - - -

The owner of the lex spoke with my father he explained what happened and he didn’t more like wouldn’t press charges

- - - Updated - - -

I was lucky as fuckkkkkkkk

- - - Updated - - -

My laywer only charged us $1200

- - - Updated - - -

Nobody likes rape NOBODY

- - - Updated - - -

Is that 5 months still over my head though or does it ever go away?

- - - Updated - - -

6* six mobths

- - - Updated - - -

Every time I get back in the gym they make me sick again why?

- - - Updated - - -

I DESPISE THAT DOPE HEAD

- - - Updated - - -

Lying to me the entire time I hardly even knew him

- - - Updated - - -

If I did it I would f even get a slap on my hand. But to be honest they nothing to me so why even bother

- - - Updated - - -

They’re the ones that swear they so important and all that

- - - Updated - - -

Trucks please I’m hardly even hurt tolerated you that’s all

- - - Updated - - -

Grateful to hopefully be free

- - - Updated - - -

Thought I had to forgive them but still didn’t realize the magnitude of what they really did

- - - Updated - - -

Manny like a little. Brother I never had - if you think I’m pissed about mingo I know in my heart they hit Ming too - my roads were cutting off too and I’m vexed about that and how manny hardly has his family like that. Being so young - he cool as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

And got studio.skills too

- - - Updated - - -

I pared an underwater shot Ming said WTF and it snapped me out of it that’s why I stopped posting stuff like that - he was dead only a few days to weaks later

- - - Updated - - -

His undercover nick is Q tip

- - - Updated - - -

Or just Q

- - - Updated - - -

My family technically floral park but could walk to queens

- - - Updated - - -

My pop pop lived one block from the race track

- - - Updated - - -

I haven’t seen my hell mates son since I kept screaming in the car cause my roads were cutting off thank god he was driving and not me but it sucks I can’t hang with his baby anymore now either

- - - Updated - - -

You hallucinate like your on the road and then it’s woods type shit or I can’t explain it

- - - Updated - - -

Something kn the road and you swerve stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

I have peoples I love still I just keep them far away for now

- - - Updated - - -

I ain’t forget my Hail Mary day ones trust

- - - Updated - - -

Everyone else claims they scared of me FOR WHAT? I’m so chill and laid. Back I don’t even. Fight unless stepped upon

- - - Updated - - -

I figured it out… it’s mine that’s why

- - - Updated - - -

Wwyd?

- - - Updated - - -

I wanna keep it for a SVU department cause mental off the fucking hook

- - - Updated - - -

The police are too

- - - Updated - - -

Danbury made me come in from NYC at 2am to prove I didn’t hit a car that was illegally parked to even begin with- Naugatuck had my back

- - - Updated - - -

It’s the ONLY precinct I trust

- - - Updated - - -

Cause a fucking dope head crack bead said I did

- - - Updated - - -

I’m sure she got paid to

- - - Updated - - -

Gods plan home it ain’t mine

- - - Updated - - -

Did the cop that held up that book bag back in 96 retire yet? Like wtf

- - - Updated - - -

It was an accident I didn’t realize she snuck the weed in my car when she knew we were going to file a report

- - - Updated - - -

That didn’t click until I got shot either

- - - Updated - - -

They were searching for bats - he even went to a judge to have me arrested for it but the judge said no

- - - Updated - - -

Every time I got in the slightest trouble he was there

- - - Updated - - -

I thought he had a crush on my mom or something

- - - Updated - - -

A NF cop did

- - - Updated - - -

Ripped up my warrant for her once

- - - Updated - - -

I wasn’t allowed to get my license until I was 18 for stealing cars but I did 4 months before I turned 18

- - - Updated - - -

My FAMILIES cars

- - - Updated - - -

I just like cars LMFAO

- - - Updated - - -

I wonder if my boys even realized I was driving illegally cause she let me lol

- - - Updated - - -

I stole that car so much - I’d take the phone off the hook if I called and it rang u.knew she knew but nah I. Barely got caught

- - - Updated - - -

One time I fell down the stairs and Dana was like should we wait and I was like nah come on

- - - Updated - - -

Even Ced used to steal the car I woke up at 4am and it was gone h had to leave the house so my mom thought I had it

- - - Updated - - -

I was so mad he made a key

- - - Updated - - -

My mom had a love hate relationship with Ced

- - - Updated - - -

She left us the condo but then came home on a spot check and he was smoking weed and I was sleep and she got so mad she kicked us.both out

- - - Updated - - -

I’m sure my step dad was in her ear about how expensive it was to keep

- - - Updated - - -

My mom was a secretary and my step dad a warehouse manager

- - - Updated - - -

My pop pop was an accountant and miraculously bought att stock before it boomed so my GMA helped us a lot

- - - Updated - - -

My GMA. Bought the condo

- - - Updated - - -

my mom was still a switch board operator then

- - - Updated - - -

She didn’t have to work my dad used to be rich

- - - Updated - - -

She started by modeling costumes when she was planning to leave my dad

- - - Updated - - -

All assets were frozen she left with her jewelry and Acura integra

- - - Updated - - -

Her alimony and child support was like $5k a month when it was final

- - - Updated - - -

She was still addicted to shopping and qvc at the door was a running joke with me and my friends there was always a package

- - - Updated - - -

My mom cute as fuck I wish I can be just half of her again

- - - Updated - - -

She taught me so much

- - - Updated - - -

I liked no matter how scary my friends looked or came to the door beat up etc - she never even flinched and always helped

- - - Updated - - -

I. Defiantly not scrappy

- - - Updated - - -

She knew we were selling weed but was proud I was in school and had a job and not on drugs

- - - Updated - - -

I never had to ask her for money

- - - Updated - - -

The. She blamed herself when I got sick for letting me

- - - Updated - - -

Ma chill it’s still my saving grace

- - - Updated - - -

She actually does know my history guns and all

- - - Updated - - -

I tell her everything when I know the coast is clear

- - - Updated - - -

Saw her crying I underneath the table once and it changed me…. Not hollins being killed

- - - Updated - - -

They just have to pay her.back she’s been financing me since 2012

- - - Updated - - -

I have no clue who

- - - Updated - - -

Psych lied k. The file and said it was cause someone killed themselve in front of me

- - - Updated - - -

Now they? They some authors for real

- - - Updated - - -

At the third page I almost threw up the entire file is a lie

- - - Updated - - -

I sent it to 50 at interscope

- - - Updated - - -

It’s like 2 feet thick but I’m wondering how cause I always changed drs

- - - Updated - - -

And they were all saying my old drs wouldn’t tell them nothing

- - - Updated - - -

Well since I have brain damage I feel they should be treated like real medical records too

- - - Updated - - -

PISSED

- - - Updated - - -

But I can dunctipn again and then they come back type thru me make me sick

- - - Updated - - -

Finction* exhibit a

- - - Updated - - -

If they go away I’ll ne fine

- - - Updated - - -

If the Feds were watching do they remember me crying running out of work cause I know they were back when I typed die to muscle and they haven’t left or stopped yet

- - - Updated - - -

Die to myself* and it’s not cute or funny to me

- - - Updated - - -

PAC… were you supposed to pick me up when I ran away and send the police?

- - - Updated - - -

I remember bleeding bad and leaving it on the basement step and police bench - I just want the entrance to belly 5 with the same acapellp in 1 then then they do 3 and 4 (lol Wayne for real bitches skipping scenes)

- - - Updated - - -

Running thru the woods to get.caught by my sister and mom on the other side they took me to police

- - - Updated - - -

That’s when they ripped up my warrant

- - - Updated - - -

https://youtu.be/KV2ssT8lzj8

My fire song

- - - Updated - - -

It’s PACs in my opinion

- - - Updated - - -

Just have that part and maybe like 3-5 others - you down?

- - - Updated - - -

Where did the.belly part go?

- - - Updated - - -

My no means no too and they’re oussing me off

- - - Updated - - -
@Word z_ahgod I remember you too always affiliated it with nas type vibe and thank you it’s truly therapeutic and maybe I can help write a movie then book that helps the next ones to climb out too. Thanks for the feedback it does mean a lot

- - - Updated - - -

I graduate hair school in 3 months that’s a huge accomplishment for someone like me too

- - - Updated - - -

@yg LMFAO

Pac thry krep saging k is you and not t

- - - Updated - - -

And everybody believe them and not me

- - - Updated - - -

Sick twistwd old man needto go away ive been hearing him sincd rhe gangrape

- - - Updated - - -

Itbhurts them to heae not me anymore

- - - Updated - - -

Pac ill tell you

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah my dogs chains again... Im fine ill necer be scafex of sokdne that cant scwn face myface

- - - Updated - - -

Cant come to my face*

Pac if thar was just ob you... Then fuvk you too

My biggest regret was not reporting an ex who was hittimg and now i get hit again.z.. Why when i can just walk away right?

- - - Updated - - -

Wwyd?

- - - Updated - - -

He fucked my face up bad and it hurts like a bitch too

- - - Updated - - -

Missed my third Saturday from school it’s always on Friday night

- - - Updated - - -

I’m TAF

- - - Updated - - -

Funny my soul was crying about an hour or two before… that’s when you’re eyss tear for no reason

The old man in McDonalds with a wig on a computer - I think that’s the creeper the McDonald’s by my school

- - - Updated - - -

The way he smiled when I walked in and the wig and prunes

Idk how they do it either but it was the exact smile Nancy made when me and Tim drove by right on time and L said at least I got to do what I wanted to do and then one time an old classmate was by a party bus

- - - Updated - - -

Atleast I got to do what I wanted to do today*

- - - Updated - - -

It’s ok I rather be dead then their bitch anyway

- - - Updated - - -

The creeper who parked behind me and I hit his car he went thru my insurance

- - - Updated - - -

I’m like 90% sure it was the same man in McDonald’s

- - - Updated - - -

PAC I know that you are still alive and don’t give a fuck and won’t help me either you let them too

- - - Updated - - -

I waited 8 years

- - - Updated - - -

Suicide yeah right I’ll kill before that

- - - Updated - - -

Get the beast off me it’s gross

- - - Updated - - -

If I had any friends it’d be easier. But I won’t cave

- - - Updated - - -

I know what I’m worth and deserve besides my craziness and being a human. Toy

- - - Updated - - -

I haven’t shed one tear yet and refuse ro

- - - Updated - - -

Refuse to*

- - - Updated - - -

How did I become so hated?

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want anything to do with their elite ass family for real

- - - Updated - - -

I rather. Be beat and raped then have anything to do with that dope head

- - - Updated - - -

Set me up from day 1 and ruined my entire life 9x now

- - - Updated - - -

I hate their family they’re abusing and disrespecting the shit out of me forcing my body and biting my cheek and shit - no thank you don’t want anything they got

- - - Updated - - -

God fucking with me and all these voices in my head won’t shut up

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t like it and don’t want to live my life like them

- - - Updated - - -

I’m a hair dresser - I know a wig when I see one it was blonde

- - - Updated - - -

And he had a hat on too

- - - Updated - - -

I’m tired of that sick fucking freak and his pi wi a playground

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t give my body to nobody or other god

Nothing but my worst nightmares come true

Pac im zorry buti cant do tgud i dont want anythimg to do with psych

- - - Updated - - -

Or my old friebds

- - - Updated - - -

Why everytime im happy agaib do thry come back to tear me down

- - - Updated - - -

Someone is on my body abd refuses to leage md alons -i dont like it

- - - Updated - - -

I get it every friday he doez this fof like 3-7 weeks... Im done with everybody they get to everybody

- - - Updated - - -

Do ypu know how many hours i lost tofay? Even my own mother stucl up for tim
U

- - - Updated - - -

Thy took everybldy away ans then make eveeyone else hate me

- - - Updated - - -

My worst nighymare sincr 2010

- - - Updated - - -

I dont think i can trust anyond ever again now

- - - Updated - - -

Why cayse i posted wjere did my roof go on fb? Sprry but i dont know what its like to be a hater

- - - Updated - - -

I like to see people happy, pretty, and doiing wrll

- - - Updated - - -

Fuck a needle tbe electric chair hurts way more i think

- - - Updated - - -

I want that rapist castrated and dead as well as the peoplr who sold me to them

- - - Updated - - -

Um never going to try tto love anybldu ever again

- - - Updated - - -

J ost cpunt how many bpyfriends. Traded me

- - - Updated - - -

I fefuse to let that rapisy pedo fuck win and. Never have sex agaim tjhlugh

- - - Updated - - -

After the gangrape in mrytle beach my bf didnt tpuch md for 3 years its why we finally btoke up

- - - Updated - - -

Im just real slow and stupid whem these freaks are arpund

- - - Updated - - -

Why wont tbey leave me alond and just let me.be happy

- - - Updated - - -

Never in my entire life have a met dr kaplab why was tim seeing him and he submiyted falas records to my prograk too?

- - - Updated - - -

They wont let me oyt

- - - Updated - - -

Between mobey or death i chose they dje causs never.being rped ever again ks more imporyant to. Me and being able to protecf myseld too

- - - Updated - - -

For some reason all the pawb shops in waterbury wont take alexas and they using that to di ut i thjnk

- - - Updated - - -

I wantto bfing it to the police but thetll just lock me up again

- - - Updated - - -

Becausekt goes off byitself anx iz all black wjtg a white cord

- - - Updated - - -

I dont eant anytgubg to do wjtg their soul switching world

- - - Updated - - -

The voucrs are so baf today i got rral sixk and snapped last nught

- - - Updated - - -

Tbey taught tim how to fyck woth my head and make me hit ibsanity

- - - Updated - - -

I thinl they prepped him on words ans things tk say to makw me trust him too

- - - Updated - - -

Just losing mad timde in my own home again

- - - Updated - - -

Who did thjs tk me and my life abs why?

- - - Updated - - -

Why wont anyone just make tgem lrave me alone?

- - - Updated - - -

Isnt brakn damage enough for them

- - - Updated - - -

The onlu druh i do is sniff coke that woyld be frontal lobe not memory in the back

- - - Updated - - -

Cause nobody on this earth can fubction on 6 different psych neds

- - - Updated - - -

I dont like sleeping 15 hts

- - - Updated - - -

My beuro wont treaf me and just promise me no matter what they will never gst my brain

- - - Updated - - -

They stole evrry dream i ever haf in my one life

- - - Updated - - -

I ratherkill before i let them gef thier selfish knes at the rxoense of me

- - - Updated - - -

They wont even stop makng me sick on fridays sk i lose 6 hts at school.zz why wont theg let md graduatw

- - - Updated - - -

The past 4 or 5 weeks ypud ha e yo check with the school admins

- - - Updated - - -

I jist want to ve halppy who the fycn is happy livong of thejr mom at $140 a werk bsing sick like this

- - - Updated - - -

$130

- - - Updated - - -

I had a career and life and i wanot tio know who took thaf from me and why

- - - Updated - - -

My only real friebd js dead and my father so fuck pyre too

- - - Updated - - -

I know i deserve heaven after this

- - - Updated - - -

I mkake everyone worse not better so ull never ride woth hotseman again eithwr

- - - Updated - - -

Whem you hqve nothing left to live for youre sulpposed to finf somethung to die for

- - - Updated - - -

�� �������� �������� ������������������ ���� �������� ������ ������������ ������
�� ���������������� ����������

- - - Updated - - -

Ll never sacrafice myself for anyone but my daugher and few family i havel left ever agaib

- - - Updated - - -

Its russian royllete

- - - Updated - - -

Im not afraid to die im afraid of living the resrt of my life lime this

- - - Updated - - -

How did they get control of mu body?

- - - Updated - - -

Ibtrusred peace and confort and they took that too. I have to learb to nrber forgive again

- - - Updated - - -

Passion males me fucking siick

- - - Updated - - -

Its icky to md

- - - Updated - - -

And corny

- - - Updated - - -

Dont care dont evwn wanna heaf jt idgaf about them anymkre either

- - - Updated - - -

I dont want anyone jn my head, tired of the voicrs i nust hate being forced fo live like them

- - - Updated - - -

Anr i hate being forced to live like them

- - - Updated - - -

Pkeasd please please dont evdf ldf me go back to hin for mkre abuse eitver

- - - Updated - - -

Dont xare god wil tell me what happebed

- - - Updated - - -

No onrelse will

- - - Updated - - -

I widh i could smoke inside i hate bejng on public display when jm sivk lime thus

- - - Updated - - -

Who did this tk me and my ljfe and why?

- - - Updated - - -

How god even let them

- - - Updated - - -

Wr defibtley dont have tve same god i know tbat