Placed in not built to amaze.
Striving frostart to complete the sense mind
only thinking of goal-
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...6&postcount=12
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02&postcount=2
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Placed in not built to amaze.
Striving frostart to complete the sense mind
only thinking of goal-
-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...6&postcount=12
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02&postcount=2
Uppinn For Feeddds . . . . .
Last Cmonn People...
For a freestyle, I'd say this is pretty solid. I'd be more intrigued a bit more internal rhyming, but that's just my preferences, since internal rhymes flow off the tongue better and are easier to remember.
I'd also suggest a bit of checking on spelling, half-because I am fastidious over it, and half because I find it easier to read.
The line before the penultimate one doesn't have a rhyming line to it.
Overall, however straightforward imagery, I especially like towards the middle of the poem itself.
Cheers for feedin .
didnt was"down" - "groun" on the same line .
Bumpin