Topical...16-20 lines.
Topic- If Only
trying this again.
House rules n shit..
Due tonight
check..good luck
Sonic
.Konquerer
Topical...16-20 lines.
Topic- If Only
trying this again.
House rules n shit..
Due tonight
check..good luck
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
Check, will post links and drop soon.
..If Only..
If I could have stopped your tears as they made their escape,
everything would have fallen into place, and the light would've made..
the glistening drops luminate your sunken in face, but I guess it's too late,
because as your hips swing and your hair fumbles down, I'll try to relate.
If only the clock hadn't been so cruel to our time together, and the rain begins,
a rebel towards the thunder and the rain emulates his thoughts as sins.
and as the tragedy ascends the clouds separate and values shatter,
and trying to stick the pieces back together is something that doesn't matter.
while the rain falls down with a faint pitter patter, a heart is shredded with words,
if only I had thought before I spoke, maybe I could have whispered without a curse.
Gone without a trace, the only thing that lurks is her shadows as whimpers spill,
from her lips and I chase behind but I can't swallow my pride for it's a bitter pill.
And as the dusk sets in, I resent my ill tongue and twisted mind,
for letting her walk out of here without a single wish or goodbye.
But thinking, "If only" is a deadly mistake, wanting something you can't have,
can make you go insane, doubt yourself with every step and question every laugh.
The clock dies just as the moon takes centerstage, lighting up the dark hopes,
and in an instant, winter fades and all the fights die out with a single stroke..
One life gone, as 2 new ones emerge, you're better than you claim to be,
Cause when you're with her, you want this life game to play over on repeat.
....If Only...
If only wars could be won by the virtue of kind word
If only songs could be sung by the people left un-heard
If only our schools would stop preaching and teach
If we reach for the stars and get some freedom of speech
If we tried harder to listen, mutes could be given a voice
We don’t have to speak up but should be given the choice
Can we sail to new worlds without a sense or ship (censorship)
We need to start shaking hands instead of pistol grips
We need communicate in ways that don’t involve hate
Take every chance that you get, get every chance that you take
Imagine the police are all good, only catching crooks
And the churches never banned or burned a single book
Imagine fields of green grass by a clear glass lake
And a picnic with pimms and a lemon cheese cake
You’ve got your family napping but you’re wide awake
Too scared to wake up, incase your dreams are fake
But in time, like the theory of Heisenberg
Dreams get destroyed… just by being observed
We can’t not talk to foreign lands, though to conquer I admire
If only we could share our thoughts, and maybe just, inspire
Any references just ask
Up #1
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
upp
If only the clock hadn't been so cruel to our time together, and the rain begins,
a rebel towards the thunder and the rain emulates his thoughts as sins.
^i liked this
^
^
-------
If we tried harder to listen, mutes could be given a voice
We don’t have to speak up but should be given the choice
^ i was feelin this
^
^
Topic: tie
Flow: sonic
Creativity: kon
Imagery: kon
Wording: kon
Emotion: kon
Vote: kon
i liked both drops..sonic that was a good peice u had i just feel you could have been more indepth with it
came off as a bit basic to me..on a jadakiss: why type feel.. kon had better usage of words and more creativity
RTF
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...473/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...459/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...551/index.html
.
Up #2
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
upp
Up #3
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
damn people really sleep on this shit.
sonic
I liked the simple style you went with and it almost felt like a short poem or somethin. You had good imagery and i felt an emotion behind the words. it was a quick and smooth read and i felt it was pretty nice.
kon
i could totally hear this being spittin as an open mic at some club. I could just picture the flow and shit. the imagery was good and you wrote it as if it would be said really quickly which i really liked, it made it a really interesting read. the imagery and the use of words and creativity was all evident. i felt your piece better because of the feeling i got by reading it. really grabbed me as I flowed it through my tongue.
vote: Kon, overall good battle.
forgot to poll..thanks for the vote and explanation
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
Definitely see the difference in styles, and agree that in retrospect i should've set a mood, like kon did really well, to prevent it from being 'basic'.
anyway, up.
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