Alone

[Chinese]

She sits alone.
Hands clasped, confined tears trickle down her chin.
They stare, but walk away. No one sees what she holds within.
She reaches for her eyes, checking, for what life has left.
She clenches her mouth, not a sound escapes her breathe.

The skies shed tears.
She's drenched in sorrow.
The skies shed tears.
For her sorrow.

Muted, unable to express her mind of concealed pain.
Still alone she sits, her sorrows blend in with the rain.
Now her tears are no more, no one suspects a thing.
She stands up and walks away, fearing what tomorrow will bring.

[143]

This is a cool drop and I see where you were going with the pain and healing in this drop. Technically, I felt the rhyme with this held back from you bringing forth the strong aspect of what you were writing. The middle lines is the most evident of this. Poetry is more of imagery through artfully worded lines and phrases. Try putting the imagery more that flow in your drops and you will be cool. Nice job.

[Madbeats]

I like the line "her mind of concealed pain." This is well written. The emotion is nailed on the head.

[Chinese]

Thanks 143 & Madbeats, I really appreciate the feedback.