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Thread: Winter to Spring Part 2

  1. #31
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    please?
    A few achievements here and there

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  2. #32
    Key Tone
    Guest
    I havent read the last one but this one was creative no doubt great description of surroundings....spring..spring..wow Vocab was high but ok to make a good poem doesnt really need alot of vocab just alot of emotions and imagery. Nice one lyric

  3. #33
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    1,828
    Battle Record
    24-11
    Ok.

    A nice poetic piece here.
    As ever in poetry..
    .. Imagery is a must.
    And you had lots of it.
    I can nicely picture the scenes that you described in my head.
    Im not really a poetry person.
    But I know a good piece when I see one.
    This was nice.
    Hit this up if you will, please.
    Only need one more vote..
    Freeman Vs T West (Topical.)
    Thanks, man.
    Peace.

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  4. #34
    So old...
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Imagine That!
    Posts
    188
    Battle Record
    1-0
    well done. This was a very nice read and you had a grasp of what you were writing here. I haven't read the first part but I wasn't really concerned this stood on its own.
    It was a nice poem, great imagery and a nice poetic flow.

    i think your doing a good job of exploring from what i've read of you so far. Continue to explore... thats the only advice worthy of giving because your shit seems structurally sound but, oh.. I think you missed a plural somewhere but I'm on a different page so I can't remember which word.
    ha.

    Anyway, continue to explore with poetic style.... read others a lot.... nice shit.
    ...and like I said in that other thread of yours man you gotta stop upping your shit so much... you did like 7 times in one page in this thread.... not cool, there are others in this forum as well...
    anyway good work.

    .peace.
    [re]produce [y]our Mother's b[r]e[a]st milk...
    and patch dark spots in the sun

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