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Last edited by Krimson; July 27th, 2009 at 05:57 PM
stock? is that you?
anyway.. this piece wasn't bad.. really short and sweet, nothing too amazingly dope but still some pretty decent little lines. I feel maybe things were a bit simple as far as this read goes, but then again, I'm not much of a fan for tiny reads like this anyways. I believe if a piece is this short - than it should be flawless and captivating the whole way, which to me this one really wasn't. props on decency though.. keep posting.
this had some dope idea and images... but the wording seems off in a lot of places... "room for my soul is none." just bad wording. Id maybe try fleshing things out a little more, give your writing more meat.
But its not bad...keep posting, stay active, keep reading and feeding and i know youll keep getting better.
Return the favor on someone elses poem