User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Whispering Winds.

  1. #1
    Legend.
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    9,059
    Battle Record
    41-0
    Awards Haiku Champion - Award Request Accepted FL Champion - Award Request Accepted Haiku Season Champion PC HOF FL Tournament Winner 25+ Wins

    Whispering Winds.

    Whispering Winds


    It seems to soften my soul
    the breeze so delicate-
    that shivers my bones.
    My frail attempts to block out the demons
    that hover over my head, stirring my mind
    into oblivion twitter my eye lids as I fidget with fear.

    I can smell her scent-
    feel the touch that used to make me tremble
    as the wind sets itself into bed,
    the restraint on my heart seems iron cladded
    as my head shoots round glaring at all angles
    wondering whether i'm going mad
    as her whispers play on my canvas.

    I'm reminded of happier times-
    the roaming of my mind however
    is quite different from the one wandering my feet
    I try and hold my tears back-
    but have you ever smiled and cried at the same time?
    Like the sun as it battles the rainfall
    its never quite comforting enough for you to want to go outside
    your comfort zone and embark out through natures door.

    I seem to float on her words,
    the sweet nothings that were once uttered with bliss
    under the gaze of autumn's azure eyes
    I stutter my steps and trip on leaves-
    each one seem to wield an emotion
    although, these seem easier to discard from my path
    than the ones that prey on my mind.

    She torments me still.
    She seems to bleed my energy
    and make me weak at the knees,
    her wispers that blow my mind
    are now blinding me as the wind
    quickens my pace down the lonely paths of my world.

    The battle is not the force of nature
    its the natural forces that strain your mind.


    Like the wind whispering through the trees
    Your spirit is far from lifting,
    The hold you have on me obvious-
    But doesn't teach me valuable lessons
    .

    -Messy.
    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

  2. #2
    Legend.
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    9,059
    Battle Record
    41-0
    Awards Haiku Champion - Award Request Accepted FL Champion - Award Request Accepted Haiku Season Champion PC HOF FL Tournament Winner 25+ Wins
    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

  3. #3
    LBS. LyricallyInclined's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Under your bed
    Age
    35
    Posts
    3,509
    Battle Record
    19-9

    Re: Whispering Winds.

    pretty dope man, the imagery was good, the wordplay was pretty good, structer was good over all dope peice
    AUDIO

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    The League's Bill Parcell
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
    Posts
    5,550
    Battle Record
    38-4
    Awards LLL Season Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Whispering Winds.

    I have to agree with Inclined. Though I'm not a poet head... anymore... the imagery is what caught me first and foremost. Strong.

    Quote Originally Posted by Messiah.
    I can smell her scent-
    feel the touch that used to make me tremble
    as the wind sets itself into bed,

    This was the section in particular.

    As far as the writing. I can't say anything negative about it. Good desription. You carried it off very smoothly. Great piece.

    Thumbs up.



    Text (b.2001 - d.2006)
    LLL Season Four: Champion
    LLL Season Four: Undefeated
    Rbs 1st Text Tourney Champ
    LLL's Longest Streak (22-0)
    Former SS League Champ
    Rbs 1st Battle In Legends Forum
    Rbs 1st 1-2 Punch Champ
    Member of A.I.







  5. #5
    Legend.
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    9,059
    Battle Record
    41-0
    Awards Haiku Champion - Award Request Accepted FL Champion - Award Request Accepted Haiku Season Champion PC HOF FL Tournament Winner 25+ Wins

    Re: Whispering Winds.

    Thanks guys. More feed please.
    Legend.
    RB Original.

    Meta. Convicts.
    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

Similar Threads

  1. Through Whispering Words
    By Engineer in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: January 21st, 2007, 08:52 PM
  2. Replies: 12
    Last Post: July 14th, 2005, 03:28 PM
  3. Bitter Winds
    By >Inertia> in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: December 22nd, 2004, 01:18 PM
  4. Hazel Winds
    By NOTMetaSin in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 11th, 2003, 11:19 AM
  5. winds of change
    By •madd•Professor• in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: August 14th, 2002, 03:19 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •