upping, please feed
upping, please feed
yea i couldnt follow the flow here but then again it couldnt be heard.... it read more as spoken word to me but was pretty neat i think you kinda went off the topic you started on but good work
learn to spell words right before you use them in a verse.
/feedback
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
this is cool and all but anarchy isn't described that way
so bad choice of word other than that it was all good uk is definently breaking into the rap game.
you might wanna work on your general size instead of having that space between the second and third it should be together, cause then it throws off the preportion of it... and add some punctuation to it so there is emotion and what not, good read but work on the stanza size and adding some punctuality in it
Silent Will, the truth behind the message and the reason to speak,
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
upp
It was a really simple, basic read-through. Had little rhyme schemes, etc., but the overall telling of the story was good. I never really thought that British streets were that dangerous, from all the shit I've heard. Anyway, the only big thing that hindered the piece was the grammar and spelling. I mean, it didn't throw me off too much, but it was a turn-off, y'know? Anyway, good read.
Posting Rules
Reply With Quote