Microphone

[trajik]

I wanted to write a verse for the Slaughterhouse song Microphone.
If you haven't heard it before:


a microphone and therapy, only things there for me
if you find me mic-less, I'm swearing carelessly
i take my animosity out on the microphone
anger management royalty, i sit down down like a throne

sit in preparation for my hand held conniption fit
there's medication but i need a prescription for it
the mic is over-the-counter, its my weapon of choice
i choose the weapon of voice, its a deception by noise

find you've been verbally assaulted with deadly weapons
my rhymes are readily kept in medley form, don't step in
sight of the cross-hairs, you'll lose your life, others have lost theirs
plethora of ammunition, others will exhaust theirs

therapist, revolver, or microphone, i embrace it
there isn't another who can strike a tone so invasive
meaning it has the power to open me like a book
and knowingly, i won't be the one the mic forsook


i will get links up tomorrow, i'm just heading to sleep.

[trajik]

Sorry, I normally do links right away but I was really tired last night. Heres the first link, the other two are coming.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...raging+inferno

heres number two
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...055/index.html

and no. 3

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...078/index.html

[Di-mentionz]

yeah this was ok, i liked where it was going but still needs that little extra creativness somewhere in there, didnt like the use of "their" twice at end of the bars. but other than that it flowed pretty well and was done nicely,, maybey go back over time and rework it a bit and you got your self i nice little drop there, stay up

[trajik]

Thanks for the feedback, I agree this one lacked the creativity that my last few drops had. I would normally agree with you about the double use of "their" but in my eyes, I see it as okay because it wasn't the only syllable I was rhyming. I'm dead set against the reuse of a word in a single syllable rhyme, but in a multi syllabic rhyme, I'm content with its use. "cross-hairs, lost theirs, ..haust theirs", perhaps that changes your mind, if you didn't catch the multi syllables, perhaps you're still against it, but either way, thank you very much for the feedback. Much appreciated.

[Weeeeeeeeeeeeeed]

the mic is over-the-counter, its my weapon of choice
i choose the weapon of voice, its a deception by noise

therapist, revolver, or microphone, i embrace it
there isn't another who can strike a tone so invasive
those lines says alot about determination.. its good to have multis and yet remain on topic.. other than that.. those were the only lines i enjoyed readin out loud.. good shit

[trajik]

Yeah, I only liked my "therapist, revolver, or microphone, i embrace it
there isn't another who can strike a tone so invasive" line after rethinking about it. thats why i wrote a new verse, just wanted to scrap this one.