32 lines
Until Monday
No biting, stealing and other FL rules
Let’s go!
MC Shtil
Sardon
32 lines
Until Monday
No biting, stealing and other FL rules
Let’s go!
@Sardon , should we extend the deadline or cancel the battle? Because today is the final day and you haven’t even checked
You wack fucking faggot
Make Front Lines Great Again
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Boy, if you want to battle me, just pm. Why the f are you doing this shit in a battle thread?
And yo, you have -1 game difference, while I have 0… And you call me with this word, how dare are you? XD
Please, had a busy weekend. I'm free to write tonight.Originally Posted by MC Shtil
@Sardon ^^
Aight, let’s make ‘til tommorow
"Feudal Negotiations"
Dont buy the propaganda of their penny press
because I am a tool for the government
and I'm loving it, but I'm covered in a bloody mess
As I shovel shit at my expense for their politics....
the pension is my life, so fuck it, I call it quits...
first verse:
Sitting in the war room, lives are bartered away
Harder to say in public light then in the dark of the shade
Placed into eternal sleep, their carving our names
Stars and Stripes, only equal martyrs and graves
On the exact pillar of shame, that WE fought to protect
Stomping our necks, carving our flesh, just stop to reflect
As we, march to our deaths you've lost our respect
afterall, it's costing me cells... while it's costing you CENTS
Can I?...Bargain my life for a bond with a flat rate?
Or am I just a pawn in your game when the bombs aim?
I dedicate my life to the medals I wear
And i dedicate my life to the honor I share
With my brothers in arms, who will happily trade
Their actual arms and the tragic remains
Yo, a samurai, blade drawn, spite in my heart,
World's against me, but I’m rippin’ it apart,
People talkin’ shit, like I’m just a ghost,
But even if I’m it, I’m the freakin’ host.
Enemies lurkin’, shadows in the night,
Tryna take me down, but I’m ready for a fight,
Battle scars on my armor, the pain is real,
I’ll fight to ‘til I die, man, that’s my deal.
Sadness creeping in, yeah, I’m feelin’ very low,
Lost some close friends on the road, they were very bold,
Tears in my eyes, because to accomplish the missión
Those who I know would give they heart on, miss y’all
So what you’ll do to me now? Should I give you a guide?
I’m a lone wolf howlin’ at the pale moonlight,
But I still ‘ve got my friends somewhere there in my heart,
So you’ll never knock me down, I swear to god.
cool battle. i like this kind of topical cuz i get bored reading 600 lines describing a cat looking at a wall clock.
Vote - Sardon
i liked the angle of a soldier/samurai reflecting on their life and how war is just a rich man’s game using others as board pieces. very accurate. relatable for someone who’s been there. cuz in the end it really does boil down to fuck the system, i’m in it for my brothers.
Shtil had a good read too. i liked how direct it was. had some good imagery throughout.
what lead to my decision was the introspective nature of Sardon’s verse. added layers to the theme & gave the verse more depth, while Shtil’s was more to the point and straight forward, which isn’t a bad thing at all, just the other verse had more layers.
good read gents. nice to see something other than diss bars for once.
Howl.
M³
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this was an interesting battle. im assuming its a topical of sorts. yall definitely didnt go 32 lines tho lol. since this isnt a typical battle ill express by vote instead of going bar by bar. I feel Sardon was the stronger writer here. he had some pretty nice multies and ententres through-out his piece. however this line
" As we, march to our deaths you've lost our respect
afterall, it's costing me cells... while it's costing you CENTS"
stood out to me in this battle. it was significantly emotion-evoking. i wish the battle was a bit longer so i could see a bit more of your styles but as is, I prefer Sardon as MC Shtil was a little bit too shallow in meaning with his verse.
v/Sardon
Great verses from both, I love a topical battle that isn't 4 chapters long. Although I do wish this had gone a little longer. I feel you both stayed on topic and evoked emotion; however, I feel that Sardon portrayed that better and more consistently.
Sardons Verse -
The flow felt good and seemed as though the topic was something close to you. Multis carried the read but didn't feel forced at all. The imagery was great, and by the end, I was feeling the point of view very clear and passionate.
Stand out point -
"On the exact pillar of shame, that WE fought to protect
Stomping our necks, carving our flesh, just stop to reflect
As we, march to our deaths you've lost our respect
afterall, it's costing me cells... while it's costing you CENTS"
Something about that felt like the verse went from you being upset to being angry, and I think that carried until the end.
MC Shtil Verse -
Your verse flowed well, although I felt there were a few missed opportunities to use multis to help tie some bars together. Also, there are moments where your choice of vocab took me away from the idea that this was a Sad Samurai talking (the direction I assume you were trying to take)
Stand out point -
"Enemies lurkin’, shadows in the night,
Tryna take me down, but I’m ready for a fight,
Battle scars on my armor, the pain is real,
I’ll fight to ‘til I die, man, that’s my deal."
----------
Overall, refreshing to read something new -
For more immersion
My Vote Goes To - Sardon
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Wassup, see, we need this thing below the join date turn 50, so let's judge some battles
Behold the fairest judge, cause I know no shit in English to understand the punches, so its 50/50 for every battle lol
Anyways
Sardon (I love the nickname, it rhymes with a russian word "гандон". If interested, google the translation)
The topic about shitty government and bravo soldiers may be a lil cliche, but as a person who saw this shit for his whole life and as a person who ran from this shit away recently, while some close people need to hide in shelter's with their babies, I can relate to this writing and feel it with my heart. Great metaphors and the visualisng ESPECIALLY lines about cents and the ending. Liked it
MC Shtil
standing for yourself forever and fightin no matter what is also a cliche topic... but like who tf cares
Shtil did a really good job with showing themselves/the main character using a metaphor of a samurai, it looks really smooth and nice
Very very good level of "show dont tell", imo at least same as Sardons
I think that this lyrical battle was very even ftom both mcees dropping very good verses, so my vote decided shtils part about "mission accomplished, but with what cost".
It was so straightforward that it really broke my heart, didnt see shit more sad than this
v/MC Shtil, but fuck, it was really good from both of u guys, keep goin!
This yappin' "suka" above is actually not yappin'
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